kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
