a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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