Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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