Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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