Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
