He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
