About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So many bounce houses so little time
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
