how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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