He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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