Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
