He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
