Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
