I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
