im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
