**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
