Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
