My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
