Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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