Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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