He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
