You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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