I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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