Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
