just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
love makes seman taste better
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
