need another drink. this is the easiest way
i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't think brook has ever known best
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
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He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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