Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize