another moral hangover. fuck.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
