Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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