I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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