Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Welp...herpes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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