Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
