It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
