I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize