i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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