Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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