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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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