Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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