he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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