Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
