Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize