I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
