so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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