Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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