So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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