It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
