I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
