dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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