I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
