Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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