I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Still dying that you shit outside
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
