Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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