I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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