DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
