Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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