i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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