There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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