I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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