I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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