She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can I color on your dick again?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
