Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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