youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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