its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
